Archive for December 7th, 2008

Being seen how I want to be seen.

Posted in career, challenges, contemplate contradictions and complexities, culture, learning, pursuit of happiness, secrets, teh superficial, these thoughts on December 7th, 2008 by LC – 2 Comments

How do I know whether I am being perceived how I want to be perceived?

How do I know that I’m not a bad person?

How do I know if I come off as rude, bitchy, pushy or just in-it-for-myself?

It does matter what other people think.

I get validation on whether I’m being seen how I want to be seen.

There are some people that can be characterized right off the bat –

“She’s wonderful! She’s considerate, caring and uplifting to be around.”

“He’s a good guy. He has the best intentions and wouldn’t do anything to hurt anyone. He’s the one person who I know that can hold his word. He’s got integrity.”

“She’s so easy-going, hilarious and knows how to tell a good story.”

I want that I’m easy to classify — like the traits above.

I want that whenever someone says my name, they associate certain qualities with me.

I want that these qualities be the ones that I envision.

When I think about myself, I don’t know even know what to think.

All I get is a big ‘ole:

?

I want to say that I am this, this and that –

but am I foolish to believe myself?

Are these just wishful thoughts?

Or must I rely on the outside to tell me like I am?