teh fortune cookie

Being in the SVO for the past week and a half has really begged the question,

“How the hell do people work in the same location, same space, surrounded by the same people — day in and day out?”

I guess what really matters is whether you enjoy what you’re doing or not.

People start creating their own space –

hanging photos, decorating their cube…

personalizing their space until they run out of space!

While I don’t have a permanent place to do as the stationary folks do, I can understand how it gets comfortable.

I already feel too comfortable –

and it’s only been a week and a half.

At the end of the day, I ask myself what I’ve accomplished (besides having new learning experiences).

The past week and a half I’ve come up the answer, “I’ve done some work.”

Great — now what?

When I get home from being at the office, whatever crazy hours I want to work, I tell myself that I’m doing something terribly wrong.

Because literally, I am.

I’m missing substance.

I’m missing quality time and interactions with people that I used to know.

I’m missing time that could be spent on cultivating new friendships.

This has only been since I’ve been cooped up in Mountain View…

where things are a bit dull for my mind racing 500 million miles a minute –

where I just want exposure to everything I can get my hands on

and anything anyone is willing to teach me. 

In the past week and a half I’ve acquired impatience.

Examples of this include: 

• road rage — hating the commute. One of these days I will probably cause an accident because I’m so fed up with the stop-and-go traffic in the AM and PM. 
• people walking slow in the middle of the walkway (in the office) — nearly impossible to  pass them unless I say, “excuse me.”
• lack of excitement/boredom in the office.

So I try to laugh at all the dumb things throughout the day because laughter is the key to a healthy soul, right? And frankly, that’s the only “excitement” I get at work. It’s a bit sad…?

I need to get-away. I need exercise. I need to be outdoors. I need perspective. I need a nice long hike. I need motivation. I need energy.

It’s only taken me 4 months to feel like the real world has put a damper on my “livelihood.” It’s taken 4 months to finally feel like I need a change of landscape, where the environment will force me to slow down and enjoy my surroundings. I need to remember what it’s like to appreciate what is in front of me so that I can balance my work/life better.

I need change. I can’t have this constant — at least, not without choice. I hate that this constant of being in the office is something that I have to do right now. I want to be able to say, “Yes, I want a constant environment right now and I’m going to make it happen.”

That’s something I would do if I needed down time.

I don’t want downtime. 

I need to be fed information.

I need to be active.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, December 10th, 2008 at 00:16 and is filed under bitch, career, challenges, contemplate contradictions and complexities, culture, learning, opportunities, pursuit of happiness, secrets, these thoughts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.