Step 2: Unsticking Mental and Physical Ruts
I know things I need to do. Like exercise.
I like being outdoors. I like getting fresh air and exercising.
But the hardest part is getting out to go do it.
I don’t get it.
I can’t stand taking 2/3 classes anymore.
I go stir-crazy in Biology and anxious doing Macroeconomics online.
Not sure how I’m going to get through the semester when I don’t read and memorize the concepts.
One thing at a time.
One day at a time.
I’m stuck, mentally.
I can’t throw myself on people, no matter how bad I want to.
It’s so juvenile.
And heaven forbid I come off that way.
I seem to have thwarted most everyone off because I’m too damn “busy.”
I don’t want to use and abuse…
Thus, I stay physically frustrated.
All I want is a nice, quick, but passionate one that will “scratch the itch.”
It may make me want more and hook me into my old friend “addiction –”
But it’s a temporary fix.
It’ll be an illusion of “happiness” for a little bit.
I think that may be all I need to jump-start my bed-crazy May…
No point in breaking the habit this year.
Sighs.
