"I survived Stark Reality" group shot

Napa Valley

• One evening up at the Silverado Resort was surreal.
• Unlimited alcohol and banquet dinner overlooking the country club golf course.
• Imagine the 1800s and classy people wearing their expensive hats, dresses, sipping red wine and listening to a pianist perform as the sun goes down in the summer weather.
• A medium-sized suite to crash in: kitchen, living room, a seat in the shower, and large comfy bed — need I say more?
• Things I’ll have to go back for: Visiting the vineyards and winetasting.

• Beautiful colonial architecture, nothing like I’ve seen anywhere else.
• Everywhere you go: Dunkin’ Donuts, Bank of America, and CVS.
• Pay the premium for good eats/seafood, otherwise food isn’t anything to talk about.
• People sleep in this city; downtown is dead compared to Manhattan, Asia, and Australia.
• Hanging out with the Bostonians at night was a nice break from touristy sightseeing.
• Things I’ll have to go back for: Red Sox game, Boston Pops & Symphony Orchestra performances.
• Photos/Video: my flickr | Teri’s 6 videos via FB (view on my wall)

Old South Church

Australia

• Sydney: an expensive version of Hong Kong (Asians everywhere!), people don’t really sleep here, streets are constantly packed and busy with people.
• All over Australia has really good eats (Sydney, Wollongong, Newcastle, Bondi Beach, Manly, Katoomba/Blue Mountains) and bakeries (ham & cheese croissants, apple croissants, strawberry crepe-like dessert, pineapple buns, cocktail buns, foccacia, blueberry muffins, chocolate and raspberry muffins, etc!) are plentiful and offer more of a variety than Asia.
• Meat pies are addicting. I crave one right now. Gonna have to learn how to make the crust!
• Tomato chips! Ugh, three days in a row I had to buy them at the convenience store. I still think Canada’s are better though!
• I tried tasting Kangaroo meat but the way it was cooked was super spicy (losing my tolerance for spiciness) so I gave up.
• Blue Mtns really appear blue.
• Hike down to the 3 Sisters was extremely windy and vertical ladders at some points. Breathtaking views and sea-legs climbing down ladders that peered down to the canyon below!
• Manly beach had a sustainable fair going on and lots of food booths. If it was like that all the time, I could live there. Twas a favorite.
• Bondi beach was gorgeous. The water was warmer than the outside air and clear like jelly!
• Wollongong was a huge let down — except dinner. Most of our evening was trying to get a hotel room on a holiday weekend (Queen’s birthday). We pretty much saw the whole city driving around. Tehehe! Every hotel (tried about 8-10) was full…so after we drove down and around, we headed back north.
• Hunter’s Valley was cool, wish we had time to go wine tasting (bought duty free wine @ the airport since I didn’t get to try them), but we watched kangaroos hopping around at The Vintage (a golf course). Cheap entertainment.
• Newcastle was dead. It was quite seedy. Downtown was deserted and boarded up; however, the beach was as expected, beautiful.
• I could go on and on about Australia, but my Twitter recap is much more brief:

I learned in the last 4 weeks that I don’t like raw oysters, lobster, and hot chocolate.3:46 PM Jun 10th from web

6/10: Hiked down to the Three Sisters (most enjoyable, but windy), ate the freshest seafood and sushi _ever_ at the Fish Market!11:53 PM Jun 9th from web

6/8: Three Sisters at Blue Mtns, breathtaking. 6/9: River Walk at Jenolan Caves, quite brilliant.12:57 AM Jun 9th from Twinkle

6/8: Newcastle then off to Blue Mountains.1:56 PM Jun 7th from Twinkle

6/7: Downtown Manly = favorite! Hunters valley — too late for wine tasting but saw some kangaroos hopping around The Vintage golf course!2:06 AM Jun 7th from Twinkle

6/5: Sussex St (saw KPMG building!), The Rocks, Botanical Garden, Art of NSW, Woolloomooloo Warf, Harry’s Cafe de Wheels: Tiger Pie!10:49 PM Jun 4th from web

6/4: Dim Sum, Chinatown, Paddy’s Market, Korean BBQ for dinner10:41 PM Jun 4th from web

Delicious dumplings and chicken soup at Din Tai Fung.3:02 AM Jun 3rd from web

6/2 & 6/3 favs: Pygmy hippo falling/rolling into the water, Ketchup chips (just as good as the Canadian’s), window shopping at & around QVB.11:34 PM Jun 2nd from web

Skipped Bather’s Pavilion and QVB — hit up pastries and bakeries instead! 11:23 PM Jun 2nd from web

6/3: Fish & Chips at the warf, Taronga Zoo, Bather’s Pavilion, and QVB for shopping.4:19 PM Jun 2nd from web

Casa Asturiana’s 4 tapas + chicken and seafood paella = delicious but not worth $170 UAD! Outrageously expensive here.3:50 AM Jun 2nd from web

Brunch at city extra circular quay6:34 PM Jun 1st from web

Cold and humid in Sydney, NSW. Weird.

• Things I’ll have to go back for: The Outback and Melbourne
• Photos/Video: my flickr

Sydney Harbour Bridge and Opera House

Echo Point Lookout: Blue Mountains

Three Sisters

Fears:

#1 – Drowning

#2 – Suffocating

#3 – Heights

–

We came upon Stark Reality, going hard all the way.

But it wasn’t enough.

Our raft went down, as the white wall of water rose above and right before our eyes.

It was like watching a shark open widely to take a hefty bite out of its dinner.

The wave crashed on us, flipping our as well as the second raft belly-up.

It was instantaneous.

I didn’t realize I was under water until my head popped up under the raft.

The first thing that went through my mind was, “Oh my god, I’m going to suffocate, or hit a rock and go unconscious!”

I must have found the rope on the outside of the raft to hold onto, as I submerged under water and popped back up on the outside.

I knew I wasn’t strong enough to climb onto the raft, so I held on… I wasn’t even sure whether there were people stuck under the raft and were trying to get out.

In any case, I was thinking of my next move.

I saw Brandon far away in his Kayak, hoping he’d come and get me — but that never happened.

Panic arose.

I remember thinking, “Ironic. I wrote Brandon’s number and address down for my sister and brother — at least they will be able to call him and find out that I drowned!”

I saw a log coming closer as the current pushed me downstream.

I tried grabbing a hold of  it so that I wouldn’t keep floating down the river.

The current was so strong that as soon as my fingers grasped the fallen log, they had slipped away.

Meanwhile, hyperventilating, trying to regain my breath from the shock of the icy water, as well as trying to keep in a sitting position (with my feet in front of me), was making it hard to stay calm.

I caught up with an oar and decided to hold onto it to see if I could use it to help me slow down or anything really!

Though, before I knew it, the next rapid was in front of me and I knew that the oar would hinder more than help me, so I let it go.

The first wave flushed me under water.

I was hoping that I didn’t get snagged on a strainer, as it was impossible to keep my feet in front of me.

I remembered to breathe when I saw the rapid rise, and hold my breath when it crashed.

Waves were coming at me from all sides –

But I breathed, stayed calm, and all the noise disappeared.

I just remember thinking, “When is this going to end?! I can’t keep doing this! I’m going to give up if there are anymore! What if there’s a huge wave that just pulls me under and I get knocked into a huge rock?!”

Before I knew it, I was floating on my back as I had survived swimming the rapids!

I was calm and taking in my air, but realized I should make my next move.

I tried listening for people, I looked for another strainer to try and grab a hold of, but behind me, I saw my guide and 2 others flipping our raft right-side up.

There was hope for me, if they could do it.

And sure enough, I turned back around and they were inside the raft.

I saw a girl getting ready to throw me rope.

I thought to myself, “Hurry up and throw the damn rope!”

It seemed as though she was taking forever!

Davie, on the other hand, had hollered, “Swim to me!”

So I flipped on my stomach and started swimming upstream.

It seemed fruitless, but at least I was given direction from my guide.

He extended an oar and I clutched onto it until he pulled me closer to the raft.

When I was alongside the raft, I swear he had asked me if I wanted to be pulled in.

I thought, “What kind of question is that?!”

So I shrieked, “Yes! Pull me in! I want to be pulled in!”

I was hysterical.

I collapsed on the floor as they steered off to the right and tied up along the shore, just before we approached another rapid.

I dry heaved immediately afterward, not certain whether it was because I had swallowed water or from erratic breathing.

A girl had helped me out of the raft and I realized that three of my fingers looked scraped and disfigured.

No pain though.

I just couldn’t believe I was alive.

–

Aftermath:

I had gone about 1/2 a mile downstream and was the furthest from everyone. Everyone else had been picked up earlier in the river. One of the girls had mentioned how scary it was going through the second rapid on the raft, and she couldn’t believe that I had done it without… I don’t really know how either.

I called it quits for the day and decided to walk back up 2.5 miles to the car to regain my bearings. Everyone was really understanding, as they saw my gimped up hand in a splint.

As Brandon and Iwalked along the river in the scorching 96+ degree weather, I took a look at  the rapids I went through. Images flashed in my head and I relived a nightmare. I kept saying to Brandon, “I should be dead! How did I live? I thought I was going to die!” It must have been at least 2-3 hours later, realizing I was still in shock — I broke down.

I feel that I was extremely lucky for not being a strong swimmer, falling out of a class IV rapid, going through wave after wave, not getting caught on a strainer, nor banged up into a rock and surviving.

I think I should be living my life differently, as I saw my death before me.

Watch and see how this unfolds.

I’m not sure how any of these nightmares were conjured, but my revelation exists because of a connection and reference to my camping trip in B.C.

The second day I hiked, I realized that I was much slower than the rest of the second group going to Upper Pierce.  I decided to hang at the tail and take my time.  An Aussie named Tom said it was much better to go slower and take your time so you could enjoy the scenery and also not overwork yourself.  He said he’d hike with me.  I insisted that he continue on and that I didn’t want to hold him back.

He did not give in.

So for the next two and a half hours we hiked and stopped and admired the scenery together.  While I hated feeling like I needed to keep up when hiking with others, he was well aware of my limits and paced himself so I never felt pressured.  He had many opportunities to catch up with everyone else and talk with the other guys, yet he never left me by myself.  He explained that it was better to stick together incase anything happened.

I understand that I often let my pride overrule safety and it’s a bad habit that I need to break (especially when I travel).

I suffer from an invincible disillusion.

In the dream where everyone was bleeding and people were being attacked left and right, there was a being that looked like Keanu Reeves with long, brown-blonde, wavy hair (the hippie surfer type) who I thought was a bad person, but ended up being a good guy — interceding a blow when I became cornered by someone trying to kill me.  Long story short, he mind-controlled an enemy as he was being attacked and forced him to attack the attacker.  The being told me to run downstairs to an escape door and have everyone follow.

In both situations, there was an unrelenting desire to provide safety and care for someone, despite their own needs and wants.  By communicating and sharing their intentions, there was never any question of what they were doing.

For the longest time, I’ve been trying to take my last relationship off a pedestal.

To see what truly existed and not what I wanted to see.

And it is not up until today, 10 months later, that I can say that I have finally found a fault, and I want more.

I lost a lot of hope over the months.

Trying to fit people into that molding.

Like one of my friends tells me, “It’s not a boyfriend factory.”

I can’t have everything.

He may not have these qualities, but as long as he has those, then I can compromise.

What I’ve learned, even though it sounds so primitive and instinctual, is that I want a sense of safety and security.  I want someone that demonstrates that they care about me more than anything in the world (exaggeration).

And — I want that they communicate that.

I don’t want to wonder.

I don’t want to be left in the dark.

I don’t ever want to not know where my relationship stands, again.

The difference between me having a “significant other” kind of relationship and having just a friendship is that I always know where I stand with my friendships.  Through all the good and bad, I know how much the other is reciprocating (or not).  And if it’s not enough, I know not to put up with that, or I learn how to gauge my friend’s personality.

But either way, I move on.

In a relationship, I don’t know how to do that, yet.

But I realize that this is something that cannot be compromised.

It is too important.

It signifies that there is a huge problem.

So today, I’ve re-prioritized –

so that I get to move forward further.

It’s been long awaited.

No contest.

“zOMG.

I’m here.

I made it.”

Twas so surreal…

8:17am – 1:30pm, all by myself.

I was getting a bit loopy half-way up the mountain.

But it whipped me into shape, real good.

• These are the places we hiked to on Saturday and Sunday.
• [flickr video=2780035271 show_info=true w=260 h=195]
• [flickr video=2780891778 show_info=true w=260 h=195]
• Approx 21km to Upper Pierce Lake w/an elevation gain of 1350m and an average grade of 12.9%.
• Photos and descriptions about Mt. McFarlane.
• Chilliwack Hiking Map – Pierce Lake and Mt. McFarlane

Passed by a few different pleasant scents while hiking the strenuous mountain:

• Near the waterfall – sweet water like cotton candy (faint warm fragrance)
• Near the muddy wood – sweet wood with shaved ice

Milestones:

• Crossing the tree trunk and slipping one whole foot in the water.
• Crossing the tree trunk and falling — immersed in water, wedged between tree trunks.
• Sinking both my shoes in wet mud.

Talking to myself:

• Go. Breathe. Challenge yourself.
• Relax. Breathe. Cause you’re almost there (and I never was).
• 11:00, 11:30, 12:00, 12:30, 1:00, 1:30!

Annoyances hiking up:

• Thinking I had heard voices near the waterfalls.  But it must have been what I wanted to hear — several times.
• No concept of how much further the “destination” would be.
• Steep inclination was never ending…
• …and when it started going downhill, all I thought was, “Damnit, I have to go down, just to go up again!”
• Swarming slow flies buzzing around.  Bothersome even more when I wanted to take a rest.  Yay for bandanas.
• Some parts of the “trail” were only enough for one foot to pass, as the side of the mountain was ready for you to tumble.  Me and my lazy legs would often trip up.  Super scary.
• Climbing over tree logs on the side of the mountain was a bit frightening.  Also just climbing over the tree logs was a bit more of a challenge for me than other people because I’m so god damn short.

Things I know about myself:

• I’m not a socializer when I’m being challenged mentally and physically.  It requires effort that I can’t commit.
• I’m amused by “shiny little objects,” so to speak.  A variety of different looking mushrooms caught my eye along the way.
• I get nauseus at 1800 elevation.
• I could never live in the wilderness alone.  I’d go mad.

Things I thought were cool:

• Filling up water through the running water in the ground and hoping I didn’t get sick.  A sort of “natural filtration” system, as opposed to using the Katadine.  The water was super cold, pretty clear (with minuscule dirt specks), and had no taste.  It was so refreshing.
• The 43 something people that made it to the campsite.
• Impressed with how fit everyone is and how much energy the boys have.  They go 5x as fast as the girls, taking bigger strides, and running down steep grades with the fear at all.  Never met such an elite crew.
• Tree planters and people with trade skills.
• Talented hippie musicians with no baggage nor drama.
• A positive, friendly, and open environment.
• Building a civilization in the woods.  We had a community (a little over 20 tents), whether anyone wanted to be part of it or not.  It was there.  We had neighbors that looked out for us.  “Your tent is wide open.” – John.  We had “intricate” paths that we would take to get to our tent.  We had built a loo made of a hole, two weight-thinga-ma-bobs, and a wood plank.  We formed queues to use it, or ran up the hill and squatted.    We had a cleansing area with bio-degradable shampoo, conditioner, and soap.  And we also had a common hang out spot where people became “people loggers” down by the lake, sitting on a huge log.
• Helicoptered the food up (but not back…).
• Dinner the first night was like gourmet food: quinoa, potato salad w/garlic, olive oil, and spinach, a mixed greens salad w/blueberries, raspberries, and strawberries, hot dogs, veggie patties, appetizers of hommus and veggies, and salsa and chips, lemon squares, and chocolate cake for desserts.  Dinner the second night consisted of: salmon steaks, veggie salad, yukon potatoes, veggie curry, and some kind of soup that I didn’t get to taste.
• Watching some of the Canadians slide down the snow on the side of Mt. McFarlane.  Crazy!
• Collecting a couple rocks w/quartz.
• Meadow of flowers
• I lost 5lbs and gained hella muscle mass!

Things I’ve learned:

• Going downhill is harder because at least with uphill, I get to choose when I want to stop.
• Wet socks and shoes makes for terrible trekking, an hour and a half downhill.
• The hike is harder than what PK had said it would be.  No one expected it to be that challenging, even for the tree planters.
• Canadians really do put “hey” and “eh” at the end of their questions.  They also like to put “man” at the end, whether you’re a guy or girl.  They also have that Canadian accent.  Their “O’s” are similar, but less pronounced than how Minnesotan’s pronounce it.
• I could survive off fruits and vegetables in the wilderness.

Things I will never forget: the talented musicians/fit people, the hikes, and the lifestyle.

Bottom Line: It was an experience of a lifetime.